Twelve years ago today I had my last first date.
I was somewhat of an older bride. Flash back over a decade ago, my life wasn’t exactly unfolding according to “plan.” I was 36 when I met my now husband (almost 38 when we married). I’d expected that by that age I’d have had two curly headed kids underfoot, a predictable but satisfying corporate job and maybe even a mini van (gasp!). Actually I never considered a mini van, or mom jeans for that matter, but I had visions of bagging orange slices for snack break during soccer practice and assumed by that age I’d be immersed in carpooling.
Ironically, as I entered my thirties, that scene was light years away and to be honest that caused me a lot of grief and frustration. Yet, once I released what I thought SHOULD be happening (yes, capital SHOULD), beautiful miracles began happening.
I bought my own home with my own money (a townhouse that I absolutely adored). I furnished it with real furniture, no milk crates, and even grouted my own tub. I explored unexpected places and traveled to fabulous countries, sometimes with friends, sometimes alone. I exercised my independence and freedom including embarking on a solo adventure to the Baltic Sea, as well as camping and white water rafting down the Colorado River (photo of that trek above). I entered the frightening and rewarding world of full time entrepreneurship and did a Hail Mary each month that it covered my mortgage!
I stopped waiting and forcing. I began embracing.
Turns out when you let go of the attachment to your expectations, life has a way of exceeding them. When I began trusting and relinquishing control, a special man and beautiful step daughter came into my life (though not with curly hair). A new picture emerged that was even more fulfilling than the plans I’d orchestrated in my head.
Someone up there had my back all along, and He knew what he was doing. I just had to allow the miracles begin.