“Should” has a prominent place in the vocabulary of this rule following, first born, Catholic girl. But as I get older and more comfortable in my own skin, I realize that shaking off the shoulds is one of the most powerful choices I can can make.
Case in point Friday. I finished work around 3 pm. Sure there was more I could do, but being Friday and all, I wasn’t highly motivated to dive into anything too deep at that point.
I really SHOULD do a few more hours of work.
Friday was a rare night with my husband was going into NYC to see a concert with his cousins and I’d have the whole house to myself all night.
I SHOULD see if one of my friends wants to go for drinks. I SHOULD take advantage of this time to plan a girls’ night out.
The crew left for the city Friday afternoon. As I bid them good bye and wished them a fun night I thought I should really go to the gym. Isn’t there a 6 pm yoga class I could catch…darn it”s only 4 pm.
My original plan was to attend the IFloat Holistic Happy Hour to network. My mind continued to churn on that plan.
I really should get to IFloat. I should use the opportunity to network, I should go because I haven’t been in a while. I should go because a bunch of my friends will be there.
The shoulds kept piling up.
But if I took the time to ask myself What do I REALLY need right now? What is my body telling me? What am I craving? I’d find the answer loud and clear.
By Friday afternoon I was a bit tired and drained. I had had a very busy week between heading up operations of a wellness facility slated to open next week, running my own business, managing family and home issues large and small, and dealing with some health issues.
It was a full week. I had worked hard and played hard, as is my usual style.
What would fill my soul?
That’s what I needed. Time to just be (took a long soak in the tub). Time to indulge (had a big bowl of popcorn and glass of Cabernet). Time that didn’t require interacting or talking (watched two movies). Time to sleep (went to bed early).
Time alone was exactly what I needed.
I used to think that being alone was the same as being lonely, but now I’m much wiser. It is essential in order to refill the well. A friend shared this blog and video with me recently and it was a perfect reminder as I decided to shake off the shoulds and carve out my alone time Friday night without guilt. (Btw give this video a watch. I adore her quirky spirit and poetry).
Ask yourself what YOU need right now. And if your response begins with ‘I should ‘ shake it off and ask again.